In a gender confused world, godly marriage becomes a target.  One of the most disastrous ways, a way that has its roots all the way back in Genesis, is an upside down view of gender roles in marriage.  Eve, rather than helping her husband obey his God given mandate, went out on her own to take of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.  Adam, rather than leading his wife in obedience and faithfulness, followed her in sin.  The words of Genesis 3:16 ring true today, “...Yet your desire will be for your husband, And he will rule over you.”

The Biblical roles for men and women are best described as Headship and Helpmate.  1 Corinthians 11:1-16 unpacks these two words.  Christ is the head of every man, and man is the head of a woman (11:3).  The context is the marriage relationship.  First, as the head, husbands are to lead and love their wives with a sacrificial love only found in Christ.  Man is to show his submission to Christ by leading his wife and home in a manner that reflects the love and righteousness of Christ.  Every man leads, the question is how.  Men, are you leading your wife, your children, towards the things of Christ, or are you using your God-giving role to live self-centered, self-pleasing lives?  Here we have the reality of Headship; you will stand before Christ and give an account for how you have led your home.

Second, since a man is head of his wife, she is to show her submission to Christ by submitting to her husband.  1 Corinthians 11:9  tells us that it was for man’s sake that woman was created.  Is that not what Genesis 2 describes?  In God’s perfect creation, before sin infected the earth, it was not good for man to be alone.  God created him a helper.  And so as a husband leads in righteousness, his wife is to help him accomplish the kingdom work God gave him to do.  Women, are you submitting to the headship of your own husband, seeing your work in the home as Christ honoring and essential to the growth of the kingdom?  Here we have the reality of being a Helpmate; you will stand before Christ and give an account for how you have helped your home.

Do not overlook the reason for Headship and Helpmate: God’s kingdom.  In order for Adam and Eve to be fruitful and multiply, to fill the earth and subdue it, they needed to work as one flesh, Head and Helpmate, obeying God and walking in righteousness.  So to with the Great commission.  Men, we are to be kingdom minded men, seeking first His kingdom and His righteousness.  We are to lead towards Christ and obedience to His gospel call.  We are to take up the sword of the Spirit and advance against the gates of Hades and the spiritual forces of darkness.  We are to teach and train our children to walk in the ways of God and fear Him.  But to every married man, hear this.  You were not able to do what God called you to do as a single man.  You needed help, a Helpmate.  You have been given one.  Treasure her, adore her, love her, lead her, defend her, sacrifice for her.  Wives, respect your husbands, love him, submit to him.  Your husband needs your help to raise godly children, to proclaim the gospel to the ends of the earth, and to stand as a light in the midst of a wicked and perverse generation.  

Your marriage is designed by God to advance His Kingdom.  What a gift marriage is, and what a beautiful institution for His glory.  To all men and women, single or married, strive to be of such character and quality as to set an example for all to see.  Single men act with the fortitude and courage that being a husband requires.  Single women, act with a godly dignity that being a wife requires.  May we all see Christ glorified in our lives.